“The bamboo that bends is stronger than the oak that resists.” (Japanese saying)
I’m Zsuzsanna, mother of 2 daughters, teacher and inspirational writer. I spent years in adult education, this is the field where I feel absolutely at home. I’m strongly interested in the self-development of adult people, I like to know why they do what they do, how they define themselves, what’s their orientation, and how they see themselves and the world around them.
In my free time I like to read books, bake some pastry and play or go out with my daughters. We love zoo’s and theme parks, but a simple walking with our dog is a perfect activity for us. My personal wish is to travel around the world, visit Australia and New Zealand, swim in Portugal, eat in Mexico and have spiritual influences and teachings in India, just to mention a few. And I would love to walk the El Camino, and I’m sure that I will do that one day!
My story began at the end of 2013 when my husband passed away suddenly and unexpectedly at the age of 35. I fell into pieces, my whole personality was all over the place. I was separated from my own Self, I could not connect to myself, so I tried to connect to others. I had been waiting for the world to comfort me, define me and make me whole again, and the world was not lazy with the answer: narcissistic relationships, friendships, more at a time.
In 2013 my sister recommended me a book, that was The Secret from Rhonda Byrne. There began my spiritual journey. Since then I have been literally consuming books to heal and thrive, but I have my all-time favorites as Louise L. Hay, Verena Kast and Viktor E. Frankl. I also watch videos and follow lectures on self development, psychology and spirituality. I strongly believe that we always have new things to learn, and life will push the same lessons back to us until we graduate with straight A’s.
In the past 3 years, after having two ‘weird’ relationships, I started to realize the similarities between the two persons, plus I added a friendship (that ended with my sudden abandonment) and I was shocked by the results. I realized that all three people did the same things to me and I knew that the solution is in me! I knew that I had attracted these people because of the same reasons, and I wanted to prevent myself from the next one. It turned out that they are all people with strong narcissistic traits, so immediately I began to learn everything about the topic. It revealed to me that I’m from a typical narcissistic family, with its certain dynamics, and I had been abused before I was even born. I also realized that I was following the traditions of narcissistic parenting, giving the legacy to my daughters, turning them into victims, narcissists or both.
4 months later I had no blame or anger towards my family or towards those who had abused me. I parent my children to love, respect, trust and accept themselves, and to be intuitive enough to walk away from anything or anyone that hurts or discomforts them. I bring them up in an environment and in a way where they can learn to turn inwards, stay connected to themselves, nurture themselves and define themselves without being coupled up with abusive people.